Edinburgh Fringe Festival with no pineapple

If the title of this post is lost on you I can only assume you have not experienced one of the greatest TV shows of all time. Black Books. It's a BBC show that was screened in Australia on the ABC and features two of my favourite comedians, Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey. If neither of these names sound familiar please stop reading, watch a few episodes and return. Without understanding the greatness that is Black Books, you can't fully appreciate this post.

Back? Brilliant isn't it. If you didn't like it you can stop reading again because we are no longer friends and as such you shouldn't care what I've been up to. (Frankly, you were pushing your luck by not having seen it already). My favourite episode is The Blackout, during which Bernard (Moran's character) turns up at a friend's house with a pineapple....ahhhh the title of my post makes sense now doesn't it. So what does all this have to do with my adventures?



It all started in 1947 when a few small theatre companies gatecrashed the Edinburgh International Festival. These companies intended to take advantage of the crowds in town for the festival, which was showcasing classical music, opera, theatre and dance. Fast forward 65 years and good luck finding a well-known comedian that hasn't performed there. This year The Fringe program features more than 2600 shows over 25 days in 279 venues. It's HUGE! It's a lot of comedy as well as theatre, dance, music, poetry and events such as the debut of the Potter Trail - a Harry Potter themed tour of Edinburgh. The shows are relatively cheap, if not free, and there is far too much to see than you could ever get to. It really is incredible. The Royal Mile is taken over with people (often the performers themselves) handing out flyers, actors in costume giving impromptu performances, buskers and a whole lot of tourists. It takes over the city.

I was in Edinburgh for The Fringe last year but only caught two performances. This year I put in a better effort. I came to Edinburgh to visit one of my best friend's, Yani, with only a vague idea of the shows I wanted to see. But the Fringe is something you can just turn up at. There will be something on. Of the 11 shows I saw, only three I had picked before hand. I found myself at the others because of posters, flyers given to me and sitting in the courtyard of the Three Sisters pub where there was a non-stop program of free shows in six rooms.

My 2012 Ed Fringe show list

Hannah Gadsby: Tassie comedian from Smithton, has appeared on Good News Week a bit. This show wasn't as funny as what she did last year and there was a very weird heckler in the second row.

Eric McElroy: A Yank with British citizenship who's gig was about national identity. He threw in a 9/11 joke. Too soon.

Lucy Cox: She was handing out flyers for her free show "Attractive Audience Required". Yani and I felt obliged to go. She was funny and sung about guys and dating. Very revealing stuff considering her parents were watching.

A Big Value Comedy Showcase: Three performers plus a host with a thick Glasgow accent. The three were up-and-comers and it showed, but still entertaining. The last was a middle-aged woman who made jokes about menopause. Very original...

Fark: A rather odd performance by Sydney's Madeleine Culp. She was named as best newcomer at the Sydney Comedy Festival. I'm not sure why. It was free though.

It's not us, it's you: A free gig in a yurt (called The Yurt Locker) at the Three Sisters. Four comedians who were not as funny as Steve, a guy in the front row. The host did the "what's your name? What do you do?" thing and Steve turned the tables quickly.

6 Foot Silly: A free gig recommended to my friend Claire and funny as anything. I answered a trivia question and then followed up with a dig at the comedian and got a round of applause. I'll keep you posted on my own upcoming Fringe show.

Bogan Bingo: It was everything you think it would be. We sung to John Farnham. They called Jesus the original bogan and the number 69 "the breakfast of champions". And we played bingo. For free.

The Vocal Orchestra: My one exception to comedy. The group of seven performed all kinds of music - beat boxing, opera, pop, rap - with no instruments. It was amazing.

Axis of Awesome: If you've seen the Four Chord Song then you know who I'm talking about. If you haven't find it on youtube. It's an Aussie trio and Claire and I got a photo after the gig. They lived up to their name. It was awesome.



Most of those shows were awesome and the most expensive was £14. The average was about £5 because we bought the tickets from the half-price outlet and the rest were free. But they were nothing compared to my final Fringe act.  After trying in vain to see him when he came to Melbourne (sold out) and Hobart (couldn't get off work), I finally got to see Dylan Moran.

It nearly didn't happen. Despite searching specifically for him, no gigs came up. Then my friend Claire found it. Two shows, one on the 15th, one on the 23rd. I bought a ticket not knowing if I'd be able to make it, but sometimes a slow job market has it's perks and come 8pm on Wednesday night, I was on the edge of my seat at Edinburgh's Playhouse. I'd planned to bring a pineapple, but in all the excitement I simply forgot.

I won't tell you much about the show, but he was great. He really was. It's always odd when you admire someone's work and then see it for real. I kept staring at the stage thinking "I have watched you on TV for hours and hours and now you're right there". He did read his own version of Fifty Shades of Grey and I can only hope he'll publish it.

Four days and 11 shows. It wasn't close to being enough. My thoughts have already turned to Fringe 2013. Bring it.

Hello my name is Megan and I'm a bibliophile

BIB • LI • O • PHILE (noun): A person who collects or has a great love of books.

The above is a relatively new term for me, but it has become apparent that a predisposition to sunburn and  a quick wit are not the only things I have inherited from my father.

My friend David, who along with his wife Amy have become my family in Scotland, recently took me to visit some of the sights in Carlisle, one of the major towns on the northern border of England. We visited the cathedral and walked around the grounds of the castle before he took me to a second-hand book shop. Talk about saving the best till last. To sum up how I feel in second-hand book stores, I'll use the image below from bookfessions.tumblr.com:



This mainly applies to second-hand book stores - new stores just don't have the same appeal, largely because you know what you'll find. And if you can't find it, they'll order it. But old book stores, well, you could find anything. I didn't realise I felt this strongly about such stores until David took me to Bookcase. My expression at the thought of exploring its 30 rooms of books left David fearing I was going to have a heart attack. It was just too much to take in.

Second-hand books stores are magical places. I still remember the crammed store in New Zealand where I found two gorgeous copies of Winnie the Pooh books for $15 and the Most Beautiful Bookshop in the World in Venice. Scotland has been particularly fun - Edinburgh has so many. After about six weeks in the country my book collection is at 16. I think. I lose track, especially with the Agatha Christie's because they are little and I forget to count the copies I'm carrying in my handbag for emergencies.

My reaction to Bookcase left David and Amy wondering why they hadn't told me about Wigtown - a town filled with second-hand bookshops a short drive away. They weren't the only ones wondering why they hadn't told me this.



My parents are avid readers. The impressive collection we had at the farm was packed into boxes when we moved to Hobart. Those books remain in boxes under the house yet the bookcase is full again. Lets blame Dad for that. My own collection revolves around three authors: Agatha Christie, Jeffrey Archer and John Grisham - the latter caused a phone call home from my Grade 5 teacher who was concerned when I took a copy of The Client to school. Beyond those three you'll find anything from Harry Potter to a faded copy of Edmund Hillary's High Adventure, the story of his ascent of Everest that I found buried on a table of old books at a market. I've moved on from the little white bookcase filled with Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley High I had as a teenager.

[caption id="attachment_2642" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Wigtown"][/caption]

On Saturday, a day before I was due to go to Edinburgh to meet one of my best friends, Amy and David were also contemplating a trip to the city to see the Fringe Festival. I had a shower and came back downstairs to be told I had to pack a bag and would be taken Edinburgh the following afternoon. I was then driven to Wigtown, although it took about half an hour to work that out. Since I don't know the area well, I had to wait for a sign of some sort to know what direction we were heading.



There are now about 10 second-hand bookshops in Wigtown, and most of those are in the main street. We started at The Bookshop, Scotland's largest second-hand store. Despite the claim to fame, it isn't actually that big, compared to others I've explored. But it was glorious all the same. It's always a good sign when you need ladders to reach the books at the top. Wary of not amassing too great of a collection while I'm overseas, my purchases are restricted to Agatha Christie (I'm on a mission to get all 66 novels and 15 short story collections) and the earliest editions of the Winnie the Pooh books I can find and afford. Of course there are exceptions, but I'm only human.

We fitted in one more store before closing time and then checked into our B&B, the gorgeous Hillcrest House, and drove out to the Isle of Whithorn for dinner. In the morning it was back into the bookshops, the last of which was At the Sign of the Dragon. This was on the outskirts of town in the garage of a house. The owner specialises in fantasy, sci fi and, lucky for me, crime! His Agatha Christie selection rivalled mine and I picked up some I don't think I have already.

[caption id="attachment_2641" align="aligncenter" width="584" caption="Isle of Whithorn"][/caption]

We left just after midday to make it to Edinburgh in time. But there's a book festival late next month so I don't think that will be my last visit to Wigtown.

haste ye back

All the action in London at the moment had taken care of any worries I may have had over the IRA in Northern Ireland. Surely there’s enough havoc for one country right now. Today was a transit day for me: car, ferry and bus. We left Edinburgh about 10.30am. We’ve driven through the city a couple of times now and each time I keep waiting to get to the ‘centre’. Turns out we’re quite often there, it’s just a doesn’t look like it. It was the same today…it wasn’t long at all before we were leaving the city behind and the green hills returned.

We drove across to Glasgow and then headed down the Coast. It was another nice day so it was could to see the country in sunlight rather than through droplets of rain on the car window. It also made hitting the coastline a rather nice sight. No beaches, just rocks, but still pretty. We were on the major road to the ports at Cainryan and Stranraer although you wouldn’t know it based on the roads. They were still quite narrow and windy. We made it to Stranraer, where I boarded the ferry to Belfast. The one from Cainryan goes to Larne and is a quicker trip, but then I would have to get from Larne and I’m a little over commuting. As you leave a lot of the towns in Scotland, there is often a sign saying ‘Haste ye back’. Mum had told me about them and it’s all a bit cute really. She hadn’t managed to get a photo so I did.

The ferry was a rather impressive ship. They took my luggage like they would on a plane so I didn’t have to carry that around. There was free wi-fi, power points and plenty of seats and decent cafes. The Spirit of Tasmania could learn a lot from here. I spent most of the trip catching up on my blog and hunting down accommodation in New York. Again, time has got away from me and it dawned that I would be there next week. Turns out everyone else will be too – most of the hostels are fully booked so I have been searching for Couchsurfing hosts in earnest. I’ve only surfed once so far, that’s partly been by choice and partly because I’d had trouble finding hosts. For London I didn’t really look because I knew I would be busy and wouldn’t have much time to spend with my hosts. I don’t think of CS as free accommodation so if I’m not available to make the most of the experience, I don’t feel comfortable surfing. After making a couple of requests for Belfast I gave up because I plan to be out all day tomorrow on a tour to the Giant’s Causeway and also need an evening or two to catch up on things.

Belfast is one of the few cities that hasn’t really impressed me much. Admittedly the port area probably isn’t its best side, but the city centre just looked like a typical city centre, and the suburbs were not much too look at either. Unfortunately, my hostel wasn’t much better. Actually that’s an understatement. It is the worse hostel I’ve ever stayed in. To be fair, it was only £8 a night so I shouldn’t complain. It was just very run down, very basic and the staff were useless. They were two Australian girls and I hope they don’t get paid much because they sure didn’t do much. The girl who checked me in just gave me a key and sent me on my way. It turned out later she’d put me in the wrong room so after I’d unpacked I had to move all my stuff next door.  I was pretty tired after a few late nights and big days so I trotted up to the supermarket, bought some vegies and cooked a stirfry for tea before calling it a night.

an afternoon with mrs chuckles

It’s a small world. A very small world in fact. I bet the last thing comedian Hannah Gadsby, who grew up in Smithton, expected this morning was to be approached by a girl from Montumana. But then I didn’t expect to be catching a Tasmanian performer at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival either.
Half a day just wasn’t enough time to see Edinburgh, so this morning I caught the train up, while Amy went to work. It’s Amy’s birthday (although she’s not celebrating until after 4.30pm) and we’re off to see the comedian Lee Evans tonight so I’ll meet her and David up there later. The train takes just over an hour and drops you right in the city centre. I don’t know how big Edinburgh is population wise, but aside from when I’m near the Fringe Festival venues, there never seems to be too many people anywhere.

I retraced some of my steps from the other day, getting a better look at everything. Then I headed up to the Royal Mile to find the start of a free walking tour I wanted to do at 1pm. I found the meeting point and then headed off to have lunch. Making the most of the free wifi, I was on Facebook, having a whinge about all the people in town for the Fringe Festival when a friend mentioned that Hannah was performing. Fans of Good News Week will know who I’m talking about. She’s bloody hilarious. Any performance I’ve seen of hers on TV has always been a talking point the next day, but I’ve never had the chance to see her live. Until now…I checked the fringe website out of curiousity to find she has a show every day, including today, that starts after my walking tour and finishes about the time I need to meet Amy. So off I went to get tickets. Turns out it was a two-for-one deal so I put a post on Couchsurfing and offered up the free ticket. A girl called Kate took it straight away so now I wasn’t going alone, which is always nice.

The walking tour was with New Europe Tours, which offers tours in a lot of the major cities. It was the same deal as the others I did in Barcelona – you tip the guide at the end what you thought the tour was worth. My guide was Mark, from Manchester. He studied politics, economics and philosophy at Oxford before coming to Edinburgh to do a masters in history. He took up tour guiding as a part time job. The tour was through the old town. I was worried there may have been a bit of double up between the bus tour I did the other day, but the bus really only drove down a street or two. Mark took us into lots of places I didn’t even know where there. He also shared far too many stories about bloody executions for my liking. I am now a big fan of modern punishment methods.

The tour took about three hours. It must take other tour guides a lot longer – Mark talked at a speed that puts me to shame. When it finished I had just enough time to grab a bite and walk to the venue for the Hannah Gadsby show. Hannah was out the front of a venue so I figured I may as well go and say hi. It would be the Australian thing to do. The show was hilarious. She’s been in Edinburgh for a few months and although most people don’t know who she is at the moment, I doubt it will stay that way for long.

Her gig was a world away from the show at the Playhouse we went to later. I’d never heard of Lee Evans, but Amy and David are big fans. It was a packed house and it didn’t take long to work out why. He was pretty good, although he had a slightly awkward manner about him that I always struggle to watch. I always feel embarrassed for them. A good way to spend my last night in Scotland though.

all aboard the hogwarts express

In the last few days, one might easily have got the impression that I’m a big Harry Potter fan. I like the books but I certainly wasn’t lining up each time one came out and I didn’t see the movies at midnight the day they were released. It’s just that HP is a big thing for England, and for Scotland, so several tourism attractions are linked to the books or movies. That’s the case for the Jacobite stream train. It’s been running as a tourist train since 1984 and was very popular then, but then the train and part of the track was used as the Hogwarts Express. Mum and Dad came across the trip when they were in Scotland and it was also something Amy and David hadn’t done.

The train leaves from Fort William and travels along Loch Eil for a bit before reaching the Coast near Arisaig and Malaig. It’s a 43 mile trip and takes just more than two hours. The highlight is definitely the Glenfinnan Viaduct; it’s the bridge the Hogwarts Express travels over in the movies. It’s such an attraction the passing is marked on our timetable. It’s about 30 minutes into the journey. You can tell when the train is getting close as everyone starts gathering on one side of the train for pictures. It was raining but there were two little windows up the top that slid open so we just stuck our cameras out that. Aside from the Harry Potter connection, the viaduct is rather impressive. It has 21 arches that are 15-metres wide.

Glenfinnan Viaduct

Despite the rain, the landscape is stunning. The track follows the loch for a lot of it, but in between that are green paddocks, hills and little rivers - and the odd tourist who pulls up in their car to take a picture of the train. There were lots of such people at a viewpoint near the viaduct. The train stops for about 20 minutes at Glenfinnan. There’s a broomstick lying about so Amy and I have our pictures with that, before boarding again. Every now and then a little town pops up in the distance. This area does look like a nice place to live. It’s quite close to Ben Nevis so it attracts a lot of tourists, particularly hikers and cyclists. There quite a few kayaks out on the loch too.

Malaig

The rain doesn’t let up and is still coming down when we arrive at Malaig, a little fishing village. We walk along the wharf before finding a table at one of the many cafes for fish and chips for lunch. We have a two-hour stop here, which is just enough time for lunch and a quick walk around the town. Then it’s back on the train. There is no turning circle here to the engine can’t turn around. Instead it jumps the tracks and goes to the other end of the carriages, facing into them. We’ve gone from being in the last carriage to the first. I spend most of the return trip in one of the doorways where I can lean out to take better photos. Another tourist blocks it for most of the viaduct but since the train was facing backwards for the return crossing, I was lucky to get good pics on the way there.

We arrive back in Fort William about 4pm and quickly head to the car. Before we head back to Gretna, Amy wants to find the viaduct so we can get a photo from below. It turns out to be only about 16 mile from Fort William and it’s only a short, but muddy, walk up to the view point. Then it’s back in the car for the drive home. There aren’t too many ‘big’ roads in Scotland, so the back way is the only way. It might be frustrating for the commuter but for me it means more gorgeous scenery. The mountains have lots of crevasses, which are formed by the water running down them when it rains. Amy and David said it was not unusual for the little trickles to turn into large waterfalls when there is enough rain. We also drive past Loch Lomond, the largest loch in Scotland.

Loch Lomond

greetings edinburgh

Today I fell in love with Edinburgh and its little cobbled streets, lack of skyscrapers and second-hand bookshops. Ok so it rained, my feet got soaked through and there were people everywhere because of the Fringe Festival, but that wouldn't happen every day. Well not the festival at least.

Edinburgh is about a 90-minute from Gretna. We arrived mid-morning and headed for the best view in the city: Scotts Monument. I have to agree with Charles Dickens' assessment of the structure in that it looks like a church tower stuck in the ground. But David said it had one of the best views so up we went. Amy stayed at ground level. It's not exactly a comfortable climb up. The staircase is incredible narrow and the way up is also the way down. Sometimes it was wide enough to allow one person to hug the centre while another squeezed by. Other times it was necessary for one person to retreat to the nearest landing (there are several viewpoints up the monument). The stairs were so tight that I felt a little lightheaded and dizzy if I went up or down at speed. I was worried that feeling would get worse at the top (I'm not great with heights) but the good Scottish air did the trick. David was right...the view was great. The old town is on one side and the new town on the other...not that's there much difference between them, except the old town is older. Duh!

View from Scott's Monument

To get a feel for the city we hop on a hop on/hop off bus. Our tour guide Graham is pretty funny and makes for a good tour. The city itself is pretty small, just a bit hilly, particularly in the old town. We do a full loop before finding somewhere for lunch. Unfortunately when we emerge from the restaurant, we're a treated to a traditional Edinburgh day...it's raining. It isn't too bad so we walk to the Grassmarket, an area in the old town that caught my eye. While David takes shelter in a record shop, Amy and I hit the second-hand book shops. When we were in New Zealand a few years ago, Mum, Dad and I found an awesome second-hand bookshop, with lots of floors and nooks and crannies. In there I found really old copies of two of A A Milne's Winnie the Pooh books. I've always thought it would be nice to complete the set. Unfortunately I can never remember which books I bought then and what year they were published. Undeterred, I fossicked through these little shops in Edinburgh and found a couple of very old ones so I bought them. I found some other treasures as well so it didn't take long for the bag to be weighed down with about seven books. I plan to leave them with Amy and I'll get them when I'm back in the UK or when she moves to Australia...whatever comes first.

My favourite bookshops

We had a bit of a drive waiting for us after Edinburgh so we tried to leave mid-afternoon. Our destination was Fort William in the Scottish Highlands. It was still about 5 when we got away so we didn't arrive at our B&B until after 8pm. The drive up was gorgeous. Scotland is exactly like the pictures. Very hilly and very green. Every now and then there is a paddock speckled with sheep, or maybe a few cows, but I didn't see much livestock and no crops. There was a quite a bit of forestry plantations though. Despite the bad weather, there were a lot of campers and caravans, and it seems you can pitch a tent anywhere because a lot of people did that too. All the kids were running around the camp site in their rain jackets and gumboots.

Wet weather fun near Fort William

Amy had a bit of trouble finding accommodation here and as we drove through the town (which runs alongside Loch Linnhe) every B&B, which accounted for pretty much every building, had a 'no vacancy' sign up.
Dinner was at a pub down the road. Since I only had a few days left in Scotland, that didn't leave much time to try haggis. I didn't really want to but figured I probably should, so I ordered it as an entree. Thankfully, it wasn't too bad. Especially when I didn't think about what was in it. It helped that I also couldn't remember, only that I knew I didn't want to know.

a cosy salon in gretna

As I've written here before, it is doing the most normal things in another country that I really enjoy. Today was another example of that. I went to get my hair done. Amy booked the appointment a while ago as I'd always planned today to be a lazy day while Amy and David were at work...a day to sleep in, laze about, and get my hair done. Now, as I'm writing this it has come to my attention that I don't think I've explained who Amy and David are. So...Amy is an old friend (in years, not age) who lived next door to our family at Montumana. She was Kim's best friend while we were growing up. About six years ago she moved to Scotland and now lives in Gretna with her husband David. Amy lived not far from Gretna when she was a kid, before her family moved to Tasmania and next to us. Amy and David came to Fontenay-le-comte to visit us when we went to the second stage of le Tour de France.

Anywho, so I toddled off to my hair appointment, which turned out to be a bit of an experience. Not because of my hair, that looks just a little bit better than it did this morning, but because of the salon. It really is the female equivalent of the pub. Everybody in there, customers and staff, knew each other and the topic of the day was exam results. All the students got their results in the post yesterday. I was there over lunch time so some of the staff disappeared until there was only the one washing my hair when the phone rang. One of the other customers got up out of her chair, her hair in foils, and answered the phone and took the appointment details. When the phone rang again, another customer, this time one waiting on the couch, said "Do you want me to get it?" and walked over and picked it up. I couldn't pick who worked there and who didn't. One woman came in and started tidying up then sat down to get her hair done. It was extremely confusing. Amy told me later that sometimes customers will wash the hair of other customers. That might seem weird but I found it all rather charming. I was there for three hours, a lot longer than I would have been in Tassie. If I wasn't on holiday, it might have been a little annoying, but today it was fun.

I had a couple of hours back home before Amy came home from work. We ran a couple of errands before a rather relaxing night in, when I actually had time to write up a blog on the day it happened...don't get used it it folks.

off to hogwarts

After weeks of sunshine, sunscreen, hats and eventual sun burn (although a faint thong tan on my feet) imagine my excitement at waking up to rain hitting the roof of Amy's little house in Gretna. I really am a Taswegian at heart. I am not accustomed to so much sun. It does weird things to me. So yes, I was rather excited for a cool change and a bit of rain. Amy very kindly let me sleep quite late so it was close to noon before I surfaced.

Amy had taken the day off work and had planned a tour of a couple of things close by. Knowing of my liking for Harry Potter, Amy drove to Alnwick Castle, the scene for a couple of scenes in the first two movies. The castle was used to film some of the Hogwarts scenes: the broomstick flying lesson in the first film and the crashing of the flying car in the second. It is the second largest inhabited castle, behind Windsor Castle. It is home to the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland. The family lives at the 'house' for half of the year: it's only open to visitors from April to November. It's a very beautiful castle. It was built as a medieval fortress before the family began living there in 1309. The rooms inside have been restored in the last few decades so it's incredible impressive inside. Although it's funny to notice the flat-screen TV and the sky TV box, signs of the times I guess. It looks a bit odd, but I also think it's nice to see the signs of the castle still being used - there are photos of the current Duke's family in the library too.

The castle has an interesting recent history, compared to a few places I've visited where nothing much has happened in the last few hundred years. During the Second World War, the castle was used as a refuge by students at a local girls' school and more recently part of it is used by St Cloud University in Minnesota, USA, as a branch for the uni's international studies program. The state rooms are gorgeous (the wallpaper is silk) and there is a display outlining some of the restoration and the attention to detail is impressive. 

The weather was pretty horrible - I only wanted a slight drizzle but what we got was enough to saturate our clothes. But we did get a few breaks to explore the grounds. I had packed my Drizzle (a reusable poncho designed my a friend of Kims in Brisbane) so that was handy. It's bright pink so Amy couldn't loose me either. We made a run for it back to the car and continued to drive though Northern England. Gretna is right on the border so we were out of Scotland in the first few kilometres of our journey today.

We drove back through some gorgeous countryside. Even with the weather it was a beautiful sight. I guess it's how Scotland should be seen...it would probably look unnatural bathed in sunlight. We made it back a little late and enjoyed an Australian (and Megan) favourite of steak and vegies for tea! A welcome change from baguettes.