almost ready to get my forrest gump on

Several months ago I looked at the amount of time I had to train for my first half marathon with a degree of confidence.
Although my track record with planning for things and seeing them through isn't great, I was determined to give it my best shot.
That confidence is long gone. Along with the time I have left to train.
It's Wednesday night. The run is on Sunday morning.
It can't be a good thing that I can count my training runs on my fingers. They are few and far between. I was racking up some miles in early January but then winter caught up with me and suddenly the only thing I was running for was a box of tissues. So there went three weeks with no training.

When I could finally breathe again I headed for Stanley Park. My first thought was to ease back into running again but then I figured running 5km would give me no indication if I could tackle 21km 10 days later. So instead I wound up on my longest run so far: 18.5km. I was slow (nearly two hours) and it was hard. Very hard. I was sore just hours later. More concerning was how exhausted I felt. I felt physically drained for the next few days. It was Monday before I ran again. Vancouver has been treated to some stellar weather in the past week so I took advantage and headed for the water's edge.
The advice of my friend Craig was there was nothing I could do before Sunday that would make any difference. I just needed to keep healthy, not get injured and keep my legs moving. So Monday's run was pretty cruisy. And I just have another few more miles to do tomorrow and Friday. But they'll be pretty uneventful too.

This close to the run, my biggest challenge isn't my fitness. It's my attitude. My fitness isn't great, thanks mostly in part to my untimely illness. But I think even if I was better prepared, I wouldn't feel much better. There has been more than one occasion where I've considered not running on Sunday. Entries are capped at 2000 so there are plenty of people who would love to take my race bib if they could. The most work I have to do over the next few days is convincing myself that finishing the race is enough. That my time doesn't matter. And I know it doesn't. But three months ago I had some expectations in mind and it's hard to let go of those. Instead I've tried to change the way I look at this race. This is no longer my first half-marathon. It's going to be my first half marathon this year. My cousin Vicky and I have decided to do the Vancouver Half Marathon on May 6. So I figure this race is just to prove that I can do it. Then I can set all sorts of silly expectations and goals for May 6.

I'm nervous about Sunday. Especially because the race, at 8.30am, will come after 10 days straight of work, including a 14-hour double shift the day before. But regardless of what happens over those 13.1miles, I've already taken a lot away from the experience. Three months ago 10km was the longest road distance I'd covered. And I only did that about three times a year, for the Burnie 10. One run to see if I could do the distance. Another to see if I could go faster. And then race day. Then I ran on average about 6km at a time for the rest of the year. In the past two months I've run 11km, 12km, 14km, 17km and 18.5km (told you I could count my training runs on my fingers). I never knew I had that in me. As for 21km? Well I'll know in a few days.